there's such a thing as LOYALTY

that's really all i have to say.

New Priorities

Thanks to Alexis, I've finally figured out how to prioritize all those "To Do's":

1. If I don't do, I won't get fired.

2. If I don't do, I might get fired.

3. If I don't do, I WILL get fired.

Now all I have to worry about is #3!!! ;)

Lesson Learned

Don't send an email over phoning someone if you're not 100% sure who they're going to respond to in addition to you!!!

bitches...

Conflict Resolution?

It seems in the non-profit management world that everyone wants your buy-in but no one wants your opinion. Also, a committee has to be created for everything, when--in reality--one person is going to make the final decision.

So far, I'm not really combative in meetings, but I'm taking away something other than what other people are taking away...so, then I end up getting in somewhat heated discussions over e-mail. I think this is because e-mail gives me a chance to actually "hear" what the person is saying because I'm reading it, so my response is more thought out. In meetings, I'm just sitting there, like... "ugh...why am I here??? no one cares what i think anyway..." So, the real problem here is that I'm taking away NOTHING from the meetings!?!? oops...

Also, as previously mentioned, having e-mail in my inbox really stresses me out, so I think about it and think about it until I'm ready to respond and then I respond in order to get it out of my inbox. (And, no, I can't just "delete" it or folder it away. I'm too anal for that.)

So, what's a mini-P.A.M. to do? Fester, fester, fester and then rot, rot, rot? Lordie, I hope not. I either have to perk up in these meetings (for lack of a better word) or...well, I have to perk up in these meetings, damn it!

I may get a taste of my own medicine soon, as this week and next are my first "monthly meetings" with my staff members. Hopefully, they don't leave the meeting thinking "Wow, that was a waste of my time" while I leave thinking, "Wow, so-and-so is a really great listener! What a wonderful meeting!"

just hit my breaking point...

more later. (if i survive)

...and...Exhaustion sets in

It's a little after 4 PM on my 4th day as the P.A.M. and I can barely keep my eyes open. Unfortunately, my first day in this new position was also the first day of all-week-long training for another project I began in my last position AND the beginning of weekly readings at my alma mater, Lesley College, which I really like to attend now that I'm no longer in school there AND the return of our lovely-yet-time-intensive friend, Dez Montero AND I still have to do everything I did in my old job until I hire someone to replace me. Oh--did I mention I'm now carpooling with PK, who goes to work at the buttcrack of dawn? So, yeah, I'm pretty much pooped.

(I haven't even seen J-Kid this week!!!)

Drinking 6-packs at night after doing a couple shots is probably going to have to go. Unless I can manage to do that before 9 PM and go to bed a little earlier. Alternatively, I could stop showering and wake up later in the mornings. Oh wait--I already don't shower!! Damn it!!

Accomplishments So Far:

• Staying Alive
• Surviving Training w/ Grandma and Grandpa Elkin
• Depleting Starbucks Gift Card
• Not quitting the 2nd Day
• Haven't smoked while at work (!)
• Sent my first e-mail to "Leadership Team" and didn't get canned
• Figured out how to adjust the height on my chair.
  
• Snagged a free box of computer paper from WB Mason by making a big stink about it arriving late
  

Coulda Done Better At:

• Blue Cross charge entry (e.g. the bane of my existence)
• Acting professional at work
• Scaling large buildings and saving the world
• Pharmacare sucks my ass!
• Masking my intense displeasure at the health centers' apathy towards my pharmacy billing project
• Convincing the health centers' of the importance of my pharmacy billing project
  
• Not drinking 6+ cans of diet coke a day
  
• Getting a damn signature log approved and ordered...my apologies...I am not a superhero, after all