new and improved

i like how my work addressed the problem of only having one bathroom for every 1500* or so people by painting the front doors a nice shade of olive green. it's like a home improvement bandaid: "there, there, that's better."











*this is not a scientific statistic. i have no idea how many people work in this building, or, even on my floor.

settling in

i figure you're settling in nicely at work when someone who's going on vacation asks you to take care of their plants while they're gone. either that, or, you're seen as that weird girl who sits in the corner and doesn't talk to anyone which means--naturally--you're good at taking care of plants...

the logic behind graphing

since a large part of my job has to do with the presentation of data (i.e. making boring stuff look pretty), i'm always searching for new ways to make my powerpoints look more spiffy. i like the look and feel of graphs because A) they take a lot of data and compress it into a very small setting and B) they incorporate COLOR (even if it's just the random colors excel chooses for me...). i'm pretty good at determining whether a graph looks good after the fact, just like i can tell you if a sentence is correct after you've written it or paint colors go together well after they're up on the wall. but unlike these 2 comparisons, i really never had an idea why a certain graph would look better than others. i kind of just close my eyes and click on one...

until TODAY, that is. i decided to do some research on why certain graphs are better than others and came across this tutorial. i think it's for high schoolers, or maybe even kids in junior high. but i found its very basic instructions refreshing and easy to grasp. i also feel like i've probably learned this before at some point in my life. oh, well! it's never too late to learn it again!

lackluster

why am i not motivated to do my work today????????????? I SUCK.

becoming even more excel-proficient (read: geeky)

have i mentioned that i love excel???? well, i do. that is aside, but i thought i'd just say it.

i spent some time today learning keyboard shortcuts for excel tasks i do all the time. i figure since my job entails me using excel about 90% of the time, these are worth knowing. also, my keyboard & mouse setup is not all that great, so using a mouse is annoying. but i have always hated using a mouse.

here are some of my faves:

shift+space: highlight entire row
alt + = : autosum function
ctrl + +: enter a new row

supposedly, ctrl+alt+V will open your paste special menu box. however, you then have to revert to the old keyboard trick of Alt + the applicable underlined letter, use your arrow keys, or transfer back to the mouse...so, still not the greatest shortcut key. anyway, i have a pretty custom menu bar for my paste special tasks. yes, i have to use the mouse...but customized menus are worth the pain!

i guess i will never know as much about excel as some of the bigger geeks out there; but, i can keep learning!

Ye Old Pivot Table vs. Crosstab Query

*Warning* This is a very geeky blog entry...!

subtitled: Who needs Excel anyway?

Today, I discovered the Crosstab query in Access. (I also discovered the Make Table query, but that discussion is for another time & place!) How did I discover this, you might ask... Well, it's all due to the fact that Excel will only let you import 65K records, because that's the maximum lines in a spreadsheet. Now, there are tons of "workarounds" on the web, if you're a programmer, data nerd, or techy geek (or all of the above)...but I'm just a wee little data enthusiast, definitely NOT tech savvy enough to read the numerous workarounds posted for this problem. In fact, I can't even read the questions posted regarding this problem, because they too include one of these scary "languages" called Code.

Anyway, instead of throwing my hands up in the air--which, really, I should've done given the amount of sleep I got last night--I began to think...think...think...think... You know, like Winnie-the Pooh does when encountered with a problem. I thought, there must be a way to do this in Access. (And by this, I mean a "pivot table" because that was my ultimate reason for wanting the 65,000+ records in Excel in the first place.) Guess what?? THERE IS!

Yes! I hearken back to the Access class where my teacher was like, basically anything you find yourself doing with data in Excel on a daily basis, you should be doing in Access instead. I LOVE HER FOR SAYING THAT. On the surface, Access does present intself as hard-to-understand and it's not really all that user intuitive. But, let me tell you...it is a lot easier to do difficult stuff in, as long as you're able to find a tutorial that you can understand. I mean, most of what I learned in Excel, I learned on the fly. Or, someone showed me once and I "got it." But for Access, the classes definitely help; the books help; the online tutorials help; even Microsoft's help center helps. In other words, you will need help if you are going to use this program.

Hey--that's probably the main reason why laymen AND tech savvy peeps neither one like it: they don't want to admit they need help! But me? No problemo. I love learning stuff, which--they have told me--usually involves trusting other people to teach it to you. (At first glance, it would seem this is incongruent with my stubborn, know-it-all personality. Au Contraire... Because once I have learned something, I can then pass it off as something I have known all along...)

Anyway.

What is the moral of this story? Let me recap for you:

• Excel has a silly limitation of 65,000 records in a spreadsheet and no inherent workaround when importing data that exceeds that limitation
• Access doesn't need your stinkin' Excel spreadsheet anyway...
• I still like Excel for formatting and makin' her pretty.
• ...but TODAY, my heart belongs to Access. LOVES.
  

this is how cool my job is

it allows for time (in fact, requires it!) for me to learn new things about my favorite program: EXCEL. (yes, i'm a microsoft whore, too...)

here is what i learned today: the formula to calculate someone's age when you have their date of birth.

=INT((TODAY()-A1)/365.25)
(taken from http://www.fontstuff.com/excel/exltut01.htm)


i tested it out and it works! i'm 31!

the admins are moving today!

yay! peace and quiet, finally...!

excel heaven

basically, my new job consists of taking someone's very boring looking & overwhelming-in-capacity data, scaling it down, making it look pretty and making it make sense. of course, it doesn't make sense to me--which is the very beauty in what i'm now doing. do i care how many members were added to such and such medical group? NO. but i do care that someone else can easily access this number on a simplified and beautified spreadsheet.

yes, my friends. THIS is heaven. w-e-l-c-o-m-e.

change is good (an update on my life)

After six long [but mostly good] years at Planned Parenthood, I have finally moved on! I'm happy to let you all know that I have accepted an analyst position in the Medicare Dept. at Tufts Health Plan. In fact, I started this week. Though the change was a difficult one, I'm very excited to be moving my career in this direction. In my new position, I expect to be challenged but not overworked. I also plan on sleeping at night and having fun outside of work. Who knew life could be this good?

For those of you who don't know, Tufts Health Plan is the 3rd largest insurer in Massachusetts and has consistently been ranked high for their customer service. They have also been a part of the innovative health care solutions for our state by offering a low-cost insurance plan to eligible uninsured persons. (No Michael Moore/Sicko-type operations, here...). The department I'll be working in is small, focused and dedicated to assisting the elderly population of Massachusetts in getting the best health care possible. Best of all, I'm once again reunited with the only manager I've enjoyed working with and for--Melissa! :)

What about that beautiful baby boy, you ask??? Well, he is still lucky enough to be spending every day with his Papi. No doubt, in a few short months, he will be an expert at golf, baseball, sports statistics and uber-friendly bartending. Well, maybe not the last part... Now that I have regained my equilibrium, I'll be barraging you with pictures of him at least every other day, as well as posting his genius antics to my [other] blog on a much more frequent basis (see link below).

For those of you I haven't been in touch with for a while, thanks for your patience and friendship. I believe that everything happens for a reason; but (to quote myself): Even when change is welcomed, it isn't easy.

there's such a thing as LOYALTY

that's really all i have to say.

mental health day

my boss in dallas once told me "the day i wake up and don't look forward to going into work is the day i should start looking for another job." not only is that too idealistic for even me--it completely backfired on him, because that day came much sooner for me while working for him than i think he (or i) expected. the reality is, even when you have a job you love, or just a job you know is the *right* job, you sometimes need a break.

thus, the Mental Health Day.

i'm not sure exactly what the mental health day is supposed to give you, other than time to blog about mental health days, but whatever one gains from it seems to work. you take a day off, even though you're "not sick," and, in turn, you get a sense of balance back, maybe even a sense of freedom, and sometimes--if you're really lucky, a sense of power. hey--it's my fucking life. i can take a goddamned day off whenever i goddamned want to. (didn't you know people in power always use too many curse words?)

the reasons for taking a mental health day are as varied as those who take them. i, for one, try not to go to work when the only reason i'd be going to work is to tell them i'm never coming back to work! the point is--you know your own stressors/breaking point and you have the right to take control of your life, when the time is appropriate. sure, we have all agreed to be good little girls and boys and give back to society in this meaningful way. but we can't do that [not really...not in the true spirit of participation] if we're not aware of what we're doing. and we can't be aware if we're too stressed out to think. to quote myself: some days, even a large iced coffee just isn't enough.

is nothing sacred anymore?

seriously. my job is shitty enough without having to put up with the smell of other people's shit in every bathroom i enter. we have 6 different bathrooms here. 4 are within smelling distance of people's workspace. 2 are out by a hallway/board room that aren't within smelling distance of people's workspace. 1 of those 2 is a private bathroom with no other stalls. WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE POOPS IN? bzzzzzzzzzzt. wrong answer! it's not bathrooms 1-5; it's bathroom #6! the one that is private and not by anyone's desk, for christ's sake!!

does this take a lot of brains to figure out? or, is it just that a lack of common courtesy is running rampant in our building? either way, it's disgusting. i would give up my paid maternity leave to be able to pee in a bathroom that smelled like apricots or ocean spray or something. ANYTHING other than your shit.

i feel like a prom queen

yesterday, i left work feeling like i had just been voted prom queen. all i had to do was be honest and direct in a meeting with my peers...apparently, this is a difficult thing, as i was the only person in the room that had the balls to do such a thing. i guess it probably takes a lot of guts to sit up in front of your high school classmates and let them put a crown on your head, then sit there like a dumbass while they celebrate your "goodness" too. of course, i didn't get any great accolades for my courage (except d.glee's "you done a good thing today"...) but i still felt as high as a kite when i left the building. i guess i don't need anyone else to pat me on the back when i'm so easily swept away by my own unparalleled confidence. good job, lee lee.

a little communication can go a long way

these days, the buzz word at our nonprofit is communication. everyone's talking about it (but no one's doing it...). but, after watching bourne ultimatum last night, i'm left wondering: what is effective communication in the workplace anyway? those who work for the CIA, at least in the movies, don't even flinch before throwing their opinion at their colleague--a form of direct communication i can't ever see being the norm at my place of employment. but it doesn't even matter, because it still didn't get them (the CIA) anywhere. maybe because the loudly voiced opinions were just the cover-up for all the communicating going on behind the curtain...?

in the real world, how are we supposed to communicate with our managers? how are we supposed to communicate as managers? it's not possible that everyone can be open and direct and keep their jobs. there are times when we're supposed to keep our mouths shut... right???

i guess my strategy is two-fold. first, i communicate profusely through email (all the while avoiding, or trying to avoid, getting into email "debates" or awkward, unproductive back-and-forths). for those situations, i try to schedule both time and space so i can give (and get?) direct feedback.

like most things, it looks good on paper. but it doesn't work in real life. i still manage to have ridiculous email conversations that go on for days and could've only lasted 5 minutes had the people involved been in the same room. i still get upset when i receive emails that surprise me or make me feel i'm being taken advantage of. and i still am [occasionally] completely unprepared for what a colleague, staff member or supervisor says to me in a face-to-face meeting.

maybe what actors playing government officials have down is portraying the art of thinking on your feet, rather than the art of communicating effectively. after all, the more you're hiding, the more you have to cover up. but i would still love to work in a business where you are allowed to say/shout whatever's on your mind without any serious repercussion. sometimes you end up looking like an ass, but--hey--so does your colleague who just yelled back. and, sometimes, you might actually say something that makes a difference--even though that doesn't happen in the movies...

Manager Assessment: Poor

So, yesterday on a long out-of-the-office drive, I was able to assess the number of hours I dedicate to each particular piece of my job. It comes as no surprise that I'm working (or should be working) more than the 35 hours a week [nonprofit] allotment. But what is surprising, as well as something I have to actually do something about, is that the coordinator in my department--who is an hourly employee--has the workload of a i'm-busting-my-ass-to-get-up-the-career-ladder corporate schlep.

Now: we know that A) she is not busting her ass, as there's nowhere for her to move up to unless I were to vacate my position (which she's made fairly clear she's not ready for/interested in); B) she is not lazy, poor at time management or unorganized; and C) she IS an hourly employee working a 35-hour a week job!! May I quote?: Our department does not pay overtime.

I see my options as very limited. I either take away work from her (which I then become responsible for doing myself) or I advocate for her to get PAID for the hours she's working and/or be given a promotion and a RAISE. The latter is difficult because I worked in her position for 2 years and managed the same level of workload without asking for just compensation. I just liked working that hard, okay???? So, the precedent has already been set that the work will be done. Now, if that doesn't prove that the one person you need to watch for in this world is yourself, I don't know what does. As for the former option, that one sucks my ass.

So, yes. I'm giving myself a capital P for poor in this managerial assessment. Mostly for not recognizing that I was being a slave-driver (!!!!!) to my most beloved staffperson; but also preemptively, for not being able to advocate effectively on behalf of my staff. Look, I can't even get my boss to give me a permanent place to sit. What makes you think I'm going to get someone else a raise???

SICKO :(

well, i saw michael moore's "sicko" last night (the first moore film i have watched, by the way). it definitely made me feel sick! sure, i don't work in the insurance industry, but i certainly work close enough to it to make me feel like a big fat loser after seeing the movie.

the biggest point i thought he made was that america steals everything from other countries, so why don't we just "steal" the idea of universal healthcare and run with it??? as someone who's generally a realist/pessimist anyway, my first response is that it's too late for america. we suck and no one is ever going to fix that. we (the "concerned" citizens) should all throw up our hands and move to canada (or britain, or france...whatever floats your boat). it's the same way i felt after the last presidential election, and the same way i'll probably feel after the next presidential election. america is truly corrupt! a true revolution would need to be started...buy WHY??? there are already other countries that we could just go live in. well, i guess, if you're not a nationalist or something.

when it comes to fight or flight, i'm definitely a flee-er. but even people that really "fight" for democracy or freedom or whatever people fight for these days have to occasionally recognize that they're fighting a losing battle. isn't that what our so-called forefathers did? they left britain because of religious persecution and founded their own country. and--believe me--they were no less persecuted than we are today. we're just more used to it (?) than they were. or we're not as idealistic???

sure, it's not as glorious to "move to canada" as it was to pioneer a new world. but, there's no more world left. we've got to accept the options we have. stay here and be persecuted by the government, insurance companies, the healthcare system, etc. etc. OR move to a better system.

the red sox do play in canada, right?

check the attitude

i'm stuck in horsham, PA with 3 of my colleagues; and, in order to survive (without going insane), i need to adjust my expectations of the week. i thought i had already done that before coming along, because--honestly/swear to god--i didn't want the week to go badly, for all selfish reasons, of course, like the fact that i'm a part of the week. i certainly don't want to lose my cool and do something to jeapordize my job--i don't even think i have that in me anymore after working in the professional world for 5+ years. but, it wouldn't even be so bad if i could, like, GET ALONG with someone else here...if i could agree with something they say (one thing!)...if i could see their point or see from their point of view. but i caaaaaaaaaaaaan't. (waaah. i want my mommy.) i'm just not a "team player," i guess...

the truth is i wouldn't be a good project manager for this project, because i'm not invested in it. the only way to get out of this alive is to go along with whatever they say, and change stuff when i get back to Boston. i can even change it the politically correct way by sending an e-mail or leaving a voicemail and saying i've re-thought some things since the trip. but, for now: just keep my mouth shut. except when i need to agree. it's a risky strategy, one which would definitely get me thrown off the island or fired by the donald. fortunately for me, this isn't a reality TV show. it's just reality (and no one can kick me off!).

blah

i don't know how much of this has to do with the evil tumor living inside of me right now, and how much is "authentic," but i'm in one of those slumps where i just don't want to do it anymore. maybe this happens at everyone's job, but my only professional experience is pplm and--at least here--i go through "ups" and "downs." sometimes, i really love my job; i love our mission; i love my co-workers, etc etc. i work hard and know that i'm doing a good job, know that what i'm doing matters and helps people, yada yada yada. but....then, there's the rest of the time. it's such a stressful atmosphere around here (and by around here, i mean inside my brain). i often feel if i could actually care just a little bit less, i'd be way less stressed. i mean, how could a person like me have been born? how could i have been raised this way? didn't my mom try to stamp it out of me just a little bit??? i care about EVERYTHING. it's exhausting... i need to just let people be. what's the big deal if people use the bathroom right next to my cube for their daily BM? it's a bathroom! that's what it's for!! and what's the big deal if anyone hired in any other department is a VIP when it comes to office space while ALL of the managers in our department sit in makeshift almost-but-not-quite-big-enough spaces? we're only a support department!! surely there's not a big deal to be found in the fact that virtually everyone involved in our new practice management implementation knows next to nothing about our current practice management system (rest in peace, med man...) except for ME. you guessed it. i'm the only one that knows, and the only one that cares as much as i care.

i need to call the EAP.

New Priorities

Thanks to Alexis, I've finally figured out how to prioritize all those "To Do's":

1. If I don't do, I won't get fired.

2. If I don't do, I might get fired.

3. If I don't do, I WILL get fired.

Now all I have to worry about is #3!!! ;)