Conflict Resolution?

It seems in the non-profit management world that everyone wants your buy-in but no one wants your opinion. Also, a committee has to be created for everything, when--in reality--one person is going to make the final decision.

So far, I'm not really combative in meetings, but I'm taking away something other than what other people are taking away...so, then I end up getting in somewhat heated discussions over e-mail. I think this is because e-mail gives me a chance to actually "hear" what the person is saying because I'm reading it, so my response is more thought out. In meetings, I'm just sitting there, like... "ugh...why am I here??? no one cares what i think anyway..." So, the real problem here is that I'm taking away NOTHING from the meetings!?!? oops...

Also, as previously mentioned, having e-mail in my inbox really stresses me out, so I think about it and think about it until I'm ready to respond and then I respond in order to get it out of my inbox. (And, no, I can't just "delete" it or folder it away. I'm too anal for that.)

So, what's a mini-P.A.M. to do? Fester, fester, fester and then rot, rot, rot? Lordie, I hope not. I either have to perk up in these meetings (for lack of a better word) or...well, I have to perk up in these meetings, damn it!

I may get a taste of my own medicine soon, as this week and next are my first "monthly meetings" with my staff members. Hopefully, they don't leave the meeting thinking "Wow, that was a waste of my time" while I leave thinking, "Wow, so-and-so is a really great listener! What a wonderful meeting!"